Japanese Wedding Culture: What’s the Difference?

This article was contributed by Hanna Vasquez.

In the United States, weddings often include flower girls, ring bearers, and a kiss. However, this is very different in comparison to traditional Japanese weddings. People rarely (if ever) share a kiss at this event, sharing sentimental messages to friends and family instead. Couples also wear kimonos rather than western clothing such as a tuxedo and dress, with the parents and family members of the bride and groom also wearing traditional clothing. 

This summer, I have been working for an event management company located in Tokyo, spending much of my time as a waitress at weddings. Through this experience, I have learnt many things about Japanese wedding culture, especially because I have never attended a wedding prior to getting this job. Various aspects, such as the seating arrangements, came as a shock to me, showing just how stark the cultural differences are regarding wedding cultures. 

Seating arrangements are very specific, but often vary based on the wedding venue. Such arrangements are determined by each persons’ class and their relation to the couple. Where I work, the people who sit closest to the couple are the twos’ coworkers, followed by friends. What was most surprising to me is that the family of the bride and groom sit furthest away from the two. However, this logistically makes sense in the long run, as the couple give their messages to their parents across the venue, walking up to them and eventually being escorted together. 

Similar to other Asian countries, guests give money to the couple, called oshūgi. This is seen as an act of support for the newlyweds’ life together. This amount ranges from 30,000 yen to 50,000 yen, often fluctuating based on the guests’ age, economic status, and superiority. Other traditions include the couple giving gifts to the guests, whether through sake or a hikidemono (a gift for guests to bring home).